Our Sweet Cayman

Someone once said, and I don't know who, that a dog is man's best friend. I believe that is true. Cayman Hayes was such a good dog and friend in our family. This is the last picture I have of her, she passed away on Memorial Day at only 11 years old. May God bless her and give her a special place in Heaven with Prissie.

Cayman was a patient, true friend and we all miss her a lot. Andrew especially loved playing with her. It's funny how time passes and you forget she's gone. At the same time, the smallest thing can bring her memory back and the sadness of her loss returns.

Yesterday, I made a chicken casserole for dinner. I always had Cayman at my feet when the time came to dice the cooked chicken meat. She would watch my every move and wait until I would drop a piece for her to eat. Okay, so I'd drop multiple pieces...do you know how much fat is on chicken breasts today? :-) It occurred to me that I hadn't made this recipe since before Cayman passed away. There was no black nose to nudge my leg as I chopped chicken, and I got teary eyed.

Even though we know Cayman is out of pain and in a better place, the house is awfully quiet.

Growing kids, small bedrooms

Okay, so I have a problem. I have growing kids, and small bedrooms. Does that sound really strange? You would think having a four bedroom home with three kids is all I need. However, four bedrooms might not be perfect when the fourth bedroom is the size of a walk in closet. That leaves poor Andrew with a closet for his bedroom.

It worked great when he was just a baby. The crib, changing table and dresser fit nicely in the tiny bedroom. Then when it was time for his big boy bed, we purchased a captains bed. It takes up the entire wall...I cannot even get a vacuum between the foot of his bed and his wall. It's the only piece of furniture in his room. Even still, at age three we felt it was perfect and just assumed someday we'd buy a bigger home. Then he could have a bigger bedroom.

Enter the housing crunch! We just don't want to sell and move right now. We don't have a reason to do that. Our neighborhood is wonderful, the school system is fantastic, and we love the rest of our house. Andrew's bedroom is the only downside. So that leads me to this new project. Emma's bedroom is the same size as the master bedroom. It makes sense to move her out of the biggest bedroom and move the two boys in there. Growing boys, bigger bedroom!

There are so many things to work on in order to complete this move. All three kids have concerns, wants, etc. that I will attempt to satisfy. We have to repaint. We need to purchase a loft bed for Preston. It's a lot to take on, but in the end Andrew will not have to sleep in a walk in closet.

Summer heat

Summer heat has arrived, and after a relatively cool summer we are sweltering! It is difficult to believe how fast the summer vacation has melted away. At the beginning of the kids' summer vacation I was overwhelmed at the thought of having all three of them home. For some reason, the three of them are challenging when all three are together. Whenever there are only two in the mix they are fine, and it doesn't matter which two it might be. But add in the third child, and look out! What started out a daunting summer turned out to be our best summer vacation ever!

Our three children have grown up so fast this summer! They behaved, they didn't fight too much, and they were a joy to be around. There were milestones this summer! Emma and Preston both became much better swimmers. They both dive into the deep end of the pool now, and Preston even loves to dive off the diving board. Andrew learned how to ride his bicycle and I know he will be ready to take off the training wheels soon. Preston took a week of basketball camp and showed a love for the game. Andrew participated in Pee Wee Tee Ball and loved it!

Now it's already August 4th, and we only have 16 days left to have fun before school starts. I'm actually sad that we are running out of time. There is still a lot of things we want to do before school. We want to go to the Science center of Iowa, Living History Farms, The Iowa State fair, and go to the Clive Pool.

On a final note, it's no secret that August is my least favorite month of the year. Hot, humid weather is not my thing...I prefer cool, crisp autumn days. So I am taking a deep breath and enjoying each day even though I don't like the heat. We have been so blessed with a summer that has been cooler and wetter than average. I have compassion for everyone in Iowa who has suffered great loss during the floods of this season. But at least it has been cooler. I look forward to the first cool September day when it gets up to 70 degrees as a high, there is low humidity, and the low at night is 59 degrees. I will open all our windows and breathe in the refreshing air!

Happy Birthday! My youngest is four this month. I think he looks just like me. He is a perfect mix of Doug and I. Fifty percent Jennifer, fifty percent Doug make the fiesty, loving, stubborn, athlete that he is. I have to own to giving him some of my temper. But he also got my loud laughter and deep love for family. From Doug he got a hatred of change and a thirst for sports...more specifically the Hawkeyes.

Notice on his cake is a blue tractor...we don't know where he got his love of farming. It must be from Grandpa Hayes and Great Grandpa Kasha. It's definitely in his blood, because he bleeds John Deere and mowing. This winter has been hard on him. With all the snow he cannot go outside to mow the grass. Now that we are finally getting some spring weather he's excited to see some green grass growing.

I have been thinking a lot about motherhood lately. I've come to the conclusion that it's easier to raise and care for an infant. Infants need help with everything they do, but they don't talk back. In a home with a nine year old girl, a seven year old boy and a four year old boy my job is harder than when I changed diapers. My authority is constantly being questioned. And honestly, I don't know anything about boys! When they wrestle in the family room I just want to jump out of my skin. I'm a girls girl...makeup, perfume, chocolate, shopping, etc. Why, oh why do boys have to beat each other up all the while screaming at the top of their lungs? At least during those moments Emma and I get along. We have to rely on each other as the only source of estrogen in the home besides Cayman our black lab.

The past few weeks I've been so occupied with discipline that I haven't done anything fun for me. I'm behind on scrapbooking and cross stitching which is unlike me. I usually keep myself busy with something crafty all the time. Maybe I'm just fed up with the long winter we had.

Look Who's Forty!

Time got away from me and I cannot believe how long it's been since my last post. I foolishly thought having the kids back in school would give me more time!

Look who's forty! Here's the clue...it's not me. I love teasing Doug, my better half, that I'll always been younger than him. For those of you who have to know, I am four years younger than Doug. Since I have four years to go before turning 40 I enjoyed teasing him about it. He is starting to get a bit of distinguished grey hair. All that makes me ponder the passage of time.

I don't feel thirty-six. Oops, I gave it away! I still feel like the same giggly sixteen year old ready to try anything life brought her way. I still laugh loudly, cry tenderly, love golden retrievers, etc. If I saw any of my high school friends today they'd all say I'm the same. They loved me because I loved to party, laugh, but also because I listened to them and deeply cared about all of them. They used to say I'd make a great mother someday due to my nurturing talent. At the time I'd laugh and say I never wanted to have kids. Well, look at me now.

The funny thing is I have changed in a much deeper, harder to see way. My faith has shaped and changed me. It moved deep into my heart and changed the bad things about me, but it only increased my joy and fun loving nature. While I don't regret my twenties, I certainly have no desire to relive them. I don't miss being twenty something. But I also don't feel like I'm getting old.

My daughter would tell you with the roll of her eyes that I'm getting old. There is nothing more annoying to me than a nine year old rolling her eyes at you whenever you say something important. That makes me feel old.

There is one thing I rely upon...life is such a gift and we need to cherish each day. We never know which day will be our last. We have no way to know that. So in the meantime we must live it to the fullest!

I had such a great time at Doug's birthday party (pictured above). That's a memory I will carry with me forever. It was wonderful to see all our great friends and family there to share the night.

School Days

"School days, school days, good old golden rule days"

Today was the first day of school for my two oldest children. What a wonderful thing the first day of school is! They were both so excited to go, and were ready to get in the van an hour before we had to leave. When we got to school, the tradition is to walk them to their classrooms on the first day. Well, they jumped out of the van and ran so fast I could not keep up with them. They were both in their rooms sitting at their desks before I could give them a hug and kiss. It warmed my heart to see how eager they were to return to school.

I was also eager for them to return. This summer was a challenge for me. This was the first summer vacation where I honestly expected them to kill each other. It must be their age! Put an almost nine year old girl with a seven year old boy and LOOK OUT! In the past they have always adored each other. Not this summer! It just gives me a glimpse at the teenage years. Yicks! Calgon take me away?

My husband asked me the other night what I learned from this past summer and what I will do differently next summer. I really do not know. I feel that I handled them to the best of my ability. Each day was stressful for me because I moderated them when necessary, scolded when necessary, and taught them appropriate behavior. I even came up with a new rule. Our home is a "safe house" and when we are together as a family we are to treat each other with love and respect. Our home is the only place in this world where we can insure a secure, loving, accepting environment. So I told them as long as we are together in our home, it's a place to treat each other kindly. That always worked when I reminded them about the new rule...but I frequently had to remind them.

A Room of Her Own

When I was a little girl, my Mother read Virginia Woolf's "A Room of One's Own." I remember her telling me how important it is for everyone to have a special place of their own. At the time I thought that was so silly. I never felt the need to go someplace on my own. Looking back on that time I realize that's because I had a room of my own. Really, I had the entire house to myself to enjoy independent playtime. My brother was eight years older, so he and I rarely crossed paths. In fact, when I was eight years old he was sixteen and had his own car. So obviously, I had plenty of private time to do what I chose to do. I could not understand why my Mom longed for a place to herself.

Now I am a mother, and I completely understand the need for a room of one's own. I have no private retreat anymore. I have no privacy, no solitude, and very seldom any peace. With three young children, my days are filled with a barrage of requests, demands, and constant service. I accept my role and realize service is exactly what I am called to do right now. In a short period of time, probably only fourteen more years, my children will be grown up and on their own. For now, however, I am left to daydream about my own private retreat away from them. I love them with every fiber of my being! But I also have my limits. I like to refer to it as my "patience tank." It's just the tank on a car...we all have tanks that must be filled. There's our physical tank, our spiritual tank, etc. I have a patience tank, and when it's empty I'd like someplace private to go and refill it.

What would my private retreat look like? To start with, no children would be allowed. There would be no walking in on me in the bathroom. There would be no whining, no fighting, and no need for assigning time outs. Secondly, I would design it to include all of my favorite things that define who I am. I'd have it nicely decorated with comfortable furniture perfect for lounging with a cup of coffee and spending time with girlfriends. Then I'd install a state of the art theater system with satellite TV so I could watch the movies I like to watch and listen to the music I want to hear. There would be a built in work center to keep my books, photos, art supplies, and a huge desk space to scrapbook or create anything I want. It would have lots of flowers inside, as well as beautiful pictures on the walls. I would light scented candles without the fear that a toy flying through the air would pose a fire hazard.

Some of the activities strictly forbidden in the room of my own would include:
No balancing the checkbook...no grocery shopping...no laundry...no cooking a nice supper only to have half the family whine, "I don't like it."

I would never have to:
Pay bills...wipe up spilled Kool-aid...clean up vomit...pick dried up Playdough out of the rug...scrub the toilets.

The strain of trying to make myself attractive to my husband would also be unnecessary. He would not be allowed in my private retreat either. After all, how can I refill my patience tank when I'm being compared to nineteen year old Victoria's Secret models he ogles on TV? Not only have they never given birth to three children, but they also have spent more on plastic surgery for those inhuman breasts and stick legs than I spent on college! The dress code for the room of my own would include old, comfortable tee-shirts, sweatpants, and absolutely no make-up!

Some of you reading this might think my voice sounds extremely angry. I'm really not angry or resentful. Please understand I feel so blessed with the people in my life. God has given me abundant blessings in every aspect of my life. There is nothing in my life I would change. I just think all mothers should be allowed their own private retreat. It took me twenty-seven years to finally understand what my mother longed to have. I finally comprehend what it means to dream about "A Room of One's Own."